I wish that I knew what triggered my memory of this story today, but my mind doesn't necessarily work like a normal person. Two years ago I went over to my friend's house with a bottle of wine. We just wanted a low key night away from the douchebaggery bar scene. We finished the bottle before we were done catching up on life, so we thought we would take a walk to Ohio Street Beach and stop at the 7-11 for another bottle. We walked down Ohio and when we neared Lasalle we saw a pile of clothes. It looked like the scene in Wizard of Oz where the Wicked Witch of the West melts and sheds her clothes in a pile on the ground, only this scenario includes two pairs of jeans, two shirts, and shoes. It was so alarming that I took a photo and posted to Instagram before we went into 7-11.
In retrospect, it would have been wise to purchase a bottle with a screw cap.
Alas, we are back on Ohio on a hunt for a wine opener before we reach the beach. As we near the Clark and Ohio intersection I notice a man going through the trunk of his car while standing in blue boxer briefs. I punch my friend in the arm to get her attention and announce, "Hey, we found him!" (Him: the man who lost his clothes on Lasalle) We both die laughing as I scream "Hi Mr. do you happen to have a wine key in that trunk? ...and are you a stripper?" Of course, I walk right up to him, I want to know everything about a guy who is confident enough to stand in his underwear under in broad-OhioStreetLights. I made him put his pants on before I would take a photo with him - he was making me uncomfortable.
1. Yes, he is a stripper. He also works in Finance, but his day job is boring.
2. No, he doesn't have a wine key but offers us a bottle of Bacardi instead.
3. After talking to me for 30 mins he shares a Subway sandwich with my friend because the bachelorette host was sweet and made him a care package for his ride back to Naperville.
Now that the bottle of Bacardi is gone I decide that I am out of stripper questions, so I suggest that we continue on to the beach. The subway sandwich is not agreeing with my friend, she needs to find a bathroom immediately! Just in the nick-of-time, we sneak into The Doubletree Hotel to use the bathroom in the lobby. The bar was already closed so no luck on the wine opener yet.
We finally make it to the beach and learn that this is where all the ricksha drivers come to take a break from their nights! They are young and all from Serbia, but they are living in Chicago for summer break. They do not have a wine key either, but inventive enough to push the wine key into our bottle with my house key! They were hilarious and they offered us a smoke and a free ride around downtown in their ricksha. We spent the rest of the evening telling our new friends about our evening's adventures with the late summer wind in our hair and the Chicago Skyline as our backdrop!